come close, lay next to me

I bet I’m not the only girl who is convinced she doesn’t have a ‘type’. I’d like to think I have one – good looking, slightly alternative, good dress sense, good arms (biceps), tattoos optional. But I unfortunately don’t have a particularly good track record. Perhaps like this:

He looks a bit like he’s from a 90’s tv show, portraying a gay angel..

Or this:

Anyway, recently, which is strange for me, because I’ve always favoured the more slim man, I’ve been having rather intense fantasies about muscles.

Definitely agree with him being the sexiest man alive.

I think the point is that I don’t think I have a type – dark and moody looking is possibly the only thing I can actually back up. Mainly though, any guy that shows an interest in me has a shot! Ok, that makes me sound a bit easy. If they seem interested, but not TOO interested, and manage to find a good balance between being really nice and showing a bit of distance, so that I don’t get scared off straight away, then they’re in for a shot. Creative and not too dicky count for a lot too.
Not sure if this actually clarified anything. Only that I’m in love with Alex O’Loughlin. That’s pretty much it. I wouldn’t care if he was an asshole, I’d let him have a shot anyday.

Things I don’t like very much.

1. My smoke alarm when the battery is running out. And crickets. And, really, just general noises when I’m trying to sleep.

2. Being really cold but wanting to wear a nice top without a jacket.

3. Feeling extra anxious and having imagination overload. In the dark. With suspicious noises everywhere but no one admits to them. And crazy mutant animals in the trees. Which I can’t see. They’re definitely there. Mocking me. This I do not like.

4. Not having been discovered by a music scout yet. I mean what?

5. Being cold and drunk out on the town.

6. Friends who won’t come with me to get drunk on the town. In winter. Ok this is understandable. I might just be a bitch. Or an alcoholic.

7. People who haven’t noticed their collar is half folded into their suit jacket/ cardigan/ coat. I mean really, are you fucking blind? You look like an idiot. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

8. Stepping on millipedes. This is self explanatory. But for all you obtuse twats out there, they stink when they are crushed. I don’t know if this is a defence mechanism, but it really ruins the whole ‘I just killed an insect thing’. They also sound horrible when they’re stepped on. It’s a kind of crunchy sound, like when you take a bite of a chip. But the bad version of that sound.

9. This horrible lack-of-coffee-headache I get. I have it at the moment actually. And it sucks. I feel a bit sick, and a bit delusional – like I’ve had less than 3 hours sleep. It sucks. Believe me.

10. Not knowing if you like someone or not. I have this all the time. Seriously, I think I may have issues. One moment I like them, the next I really don’t. And I get this idea into my head that they hate me too, so I get insecure, and act weird next time I see them. Oh this could be paranoia actually..

grandma!

Was meant to go out tonight - luckily we're not anymore due to bad weather. But just quietly I couldn't afford it/think of anything worse than being as cold as we would have been! And my shoes hurt.

inspiration

chain-smoking?

try chain tea drinking! i'm on my 4th cup of the day so far

is this what you call summer?

I think I'm a flounderer. In most of my day to day life I actually have no idea what I'm doing, where I'm going, or just an idea of anything at all. I feel like I'm falling a lot of the time too, like at any moment all the stress and bad things that have been happening will just cave in on top of me and I'll be like Atlas, holding the sky on his shoulders. Except of course, I'm a girl and instead of standing upright and holding it above his head, I'll fall to the ground and the sky will crush me.

Weird change of weather since yesterday, it was 32 and hot, hot, HOT! Today it's at most 25 and humid and drizzly.

Can't complain though, I like this kind of weather, it's like the sky can't make up its mind. Much like me.