so i'm sitting with my feet up at work, reading Grace: A Memoir, on my break that I've been on for an hour and a half, dreaming about nothing in particular, but particularly travel: and a soft evening breeze over a lavender lined driveway in greece. or perhaps france. who knows. all i know is that this day is one of the ones where my head is up in the clouds, and i'm really too dazed to be in human company. but, i'm to be at work for another 8 hours, potentially, which doesn't seem too fun for me. even though it's 35 degrees and our air conditioning at home isn't working, meaning it's cooler at work, i would much rather be lying on the couch with a cool drink and no responsibilities. here's to the new year
!

// what is happening it's almost 2013?

sometimes, i just feel that everything is so beautiful.

and then i realise our internet isn't working properly and i can't upload photos.

so it's been a while..

i've been thinking recently, about how i don't know my own mind.
but we did go strawberry picking for my birthday, so that's something.

define: idle

i·dle/ˈīdl/

Adjective:	(esp. of a machine or factory) Not active or in use: "assembly linesstanding idle".
Verb:	(of a person) Spend time doing nothing; be idle.
this is my day

with the end of a year, comes a new beginning

i don't know what it is about a change of season. something changes in me too. especially close to christmas. i get restless, maybe a kind of wanderlust. and with restlessness comes great responsibility. just kidding, it's me we're talking about.

what comes is a kind of longing, wanting to be better, more me. i know i said this was the year i become who i'm going to be, but i guess it's still a work in progress. after all i am only (almost) in my twenty-second year. things are still as great a mystery as ever, i still have gaps and holes in my life where more should be.

just more.

it is always this time of year my mind starts thinking of the future. maybe it's the start of a new year, which means a new start. maybe even a clean (cleaner) slate on which to step foot for the coming months.

it's always the end of the year when i start getting ready for the new one. which means i experience a kind of sadness, almost, thinking about all the things that are coming, along with all the things i'll leave behind.

spring / summer

there's something kind of nice about a bare summer face

bit of a poser, but anywho.. here's a summer posie i nade recently. don't like those 'typical' florist bouquets. i think they're boring.

m.i.a

never been more obsessed where zombies are concerned..

been so mia on the blog front.
and a little mia on the life front also,
i'm trying to be better
now summer's rolling around, the sunshine's boosted my spirits
no promises

Haha

Found this and just had to have it

winter

some recent photogs from my dreary winter life. instagram is actually my life these days - for when i forgot/can't be bothered to take my camera with me. sitting drinking instant coffee from a mug that says 'chocolate' on the side. received my STAT score this morning, can't decide if it's good or disappointing. oh well, all i have to do is wait for the uni offers now!

love x

Lonely Sunday

Been a while since I've had one of these. Trying to rectify the situation by having afternoon tea with friends.

052912

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned on here before but I have a serious shopping addiction. It doesn't matter what, or where I find it, if I have even so much as an inkling it might go with so much as something in my wardrobe, I will buy it, sans the consequences. I'd like to be the kind of person who doesn't have to worry about erratic purchasing, online or otherwise, but alas I am. So, here goes to my new found spend thrift ways! I'm attempting not to buy anything (and I mean anything - clothes wise people come on - for at least a month.)  Wish me luck! I honestly have no idea how I'm going to spend my down time.. if not for online shopping I would be a very bored girl..

Some photos to keep my mind off this:

they're from summer - i miss the sunshine, but i have to admit - i'm definitely a winter girl at heart!

change

exciting news! i've officially applied for journalism at uni. thank god i finally got that over and done with! been too lazy for too long now, my brain's going to take some warming up i think..

feels like everything and everyone's changing (especially my little brother oh my gosh he's so tall now!) i'm especially excited for a new challenge.

some belated pictures from mother's day earlier this month.

x

girls i'd like to be friends with

some pictures that are inspiring me at the moment. i'm really digging flat canvas shoes lately!

all photos via the sartorialist

early onset winter symptoms

It's raining fierce outside, and I've been being slack and boring. Here's to a my mid-year resolution! And that is: be more committed, healthy, loving, accepting, exploring, stylish, worldly Bella. I mean come one, this is the year I become who I'm going to be..

Here's to all of this

quote

“I actually attack the concept of happiness. I don’t mind people being happy - but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying 'write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep', and 'cheer up' and 'happiness is our birthright' and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position - it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say 'Quick! Move on! Cheer up!' I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word 'happiness' and to replace it with the word 'wholeness'. Ask yourself 'is this contributing to my wholeness?' and if you’re having a bad day, it is.” 

Hugh Mackay, psychologist and social researcher

via the wild and wily ways...

Wild Geese

Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
--Mary Oliver, Dream Work

Here come the tears, but like always I let them go

Acquired new Polaroid film the other day. Spectacular! In a bit of a creative rut though, in other news. Can't stop listening to Bon Iver. His old stuff, the depressing stuff.

i love sleep

i have a word block sometimes. mostly, actually. and i'm supposed to be an aspiring writer? utter codswallop!

it's 9.28pm and i'm tired as a dog. who has been running a lot. i don't really understand that expression. like, most dogs are really energetic, actually. especially my dog.

anyway, i quite literally can't keep my eyes open. here is some inspiration.

baggy jeans, a bike, and idle days? show me the path to this existance!

ten things thursday

new feature? ha totes.

photos to get us in the mood:

(ok yeah it's just one. and it's flowers. i've been lacking photographic evidence i actually have a social life lately [becuase i, ahem, don't] but i promise i'm going out tomorrow night. social life here i come!)

you have to admit though, my mum's floral arrangement ability to colour-block using australian natives is pretty sweet. am i right?

let's get on with this!

Ten Things that (vaguely) happened (or random thoughts about..) this week

1. i don't appreciate 40 year olds who act like they're 14. death stares whilst holding your 3 year old child in your arms? really? didn't you grow out of that in like the 80's? no? ok then.

2. i actually don't like the word 'appreciate'. it just sounds so pretentious. speaking of pretence, how the eff do you spell P R E T E N T I O U S* ? anyone? ted?**

3. Lana Del Rey - just freaking release your album already! (in Australia that is .. i know it's out everywhere else.. actually..) REVISION : Australian itunes, sort out your release dates and make them the same as all the other countries. kthnxbye. i know it's probably way overrated - this is why i should listen to it and get it out the way!

4. working all the time makes me want to utilise my time better. this is a good thing. thank god, after all those negative points i thought we'd never make it.

5. whoops, back to negative again. my dog has the worst wind ever. and i mean ever people. the kind where you have an internal debate about whether or not to leave the room.

6. yeah, um, this is a doozy. finding maternity clothes on ASOS and buying them because they're nicer than the others. also, you'll be able to wear them out to dinner because your bloated stomach from overeating won't be as noticable. phew, glad i got that off my chest! how embarrassing!

7. crying at work (another doozy) in only your second week there. this one sucks a big one.

8. crying at work because of said 40 year old death starer-er-er (not sure how many er's there should be in that. because she is a BIG death starererer).

9. ok these two just have to be positive points, non? numero novo is paying off your debt. it makes you feel so good once you start! and you only have to start to notice a noticible difference to your mood/stress levels.

10. ok that one was kinda neg/pos combined. (debt + paying off the debt.) this one will be good, i promise! BLOGGING! this is a 'specially good one. because it's kinda something i don't do as often as i should. yay for actually committing - writing things in your diary - and doing them. awesome.

* i totally just googled this. hello smarty-pants. ahem, 3 years out of school and counting.
** how i met your mother reference. only cool people will understand this.

eehh yeah ehhh yoooo

can't stop listening to this song! but in other news,congratulations to gotye for coming numero uno in triple j's hottest 100 this australia day! (another song of his i can't stop listening to, yo.)

in other news, not so cool, admittedly, i am obsessed with taking photos of things that actually aren't remotely interesting. sorry about that peeps.