On the road

Sitting in the back of a car on the way to Melbourne. On The Road on my lap, along with my camera and a way too big bottle of water. It looks like it's going to rain. But the forecast is for 30. Why is it that on roadtrips my bladder is always smaller than on days I don't have to sit in a car for 6 hours? I will never understand those physics.

these glasses are aching my head

it's approximately 7.11 pm on the wasted day scale, and i am considering whether or not to go out and buy some more lingerie. not that i need it - i had retail therapy day yesterday and 18$ went down the drain. or into the till of a more than embarrassed 14 year old boy who was (un)fortunate enough to serve a tired and grumpy girl buying black lace underwear. oh well, whatchagonnado

endless

being idle is something i'm not entirely familiar with. but now, with no job in sight, and no one at home to keep me company (ok, this was only today - i need to whinge), all i had to amuse me was soy icecream, a Hunter S Thompson novel, and endless cups of tea.

boring!

i'll leave you with some pictures of spectacular scenery and food i have been subject to (last week - gimme a break)

ok, yeah it's all food and coffee. sorryyy

just been hanging out

i love holidays. seriously can't get enough of them! haven't really had proper holidays since i was at school; i remember when i finished, this huge feeling of relief swept over me - over all of us really. currently on holidays from everything - work, study.. - well that's everything that i'd want to take a holiday from anyway.

can't believe it's been almost 3 years since i started my final year of school. feels like eternity and also yesterday.

all that emotional turmoil. and sadness.

anyway, been hanging (as the title suggests), with my brother a lot recently. he drives me crazy most of the time - there is a bit of an age difference between us so we've never been close friends. i feel like now that he's growing up we might get along better? here's to hoping. he turned 13 a month before i turned 20 so there's the age gap for you! anyway, he's on holidays now, so we get to bond a bit more.

we took captain to the beach yesterday, and then had lunch with mum and her brother as they had some time free from their respective jobs. and then again today, we went out for lunch and then for a walk along a track next to a lake, and then through a whole lot of trees.

here we are boys and girls

tattoos

been thinking a lot about tattoos recently. i already have a couple, don't know if i should get more.. or if i will regret them. in the meantime, here are some pictures of some i've found around the internet on my travels

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photogs part II

more, as promised (sort of)

photogs

due to me being a slacker and having some sort of extreme creative breakdown, here are a couple of photos from recent activity in my life (although there has been limited amounts of this)

birthday, etcetera

Things have been a bit hectic up my way.

New beginnings and all that - promise I'll be good!

Be prepared, the onslaught of photographs is upon us.

X

ON BEAUTY from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

And a poet said, “Speak to us of Beauty.”

Where shall you seek beauty,
and how shall you find her unless she herself be your way and your guide?

And how shall you speak of her except she be the weaver of your speech?

The aggrieved and the injured say, “Beauty is kind and gentle.
Like a young mother half-shy of her own glory she walks among us.”

And the passionate say, “Nay, beauty is a thing of might and dread.
Like the tempest she shakes the earth beneath us and the sky above us.”

The tired and the weary say, “Beauty is of soft whisperings. She speaks in our spirit.
Her voice yields to our silences like a faint light that quivers in fear of the shadow.”

But the restless say, “We have heard her shouting among the mountains,
And with her cries came the sound of hoofs, and the beating of wings and the roaring of lions.”

At night the watchmen of the city say, “Beauty shall rise with the dawn from the east.”

And at noontide the toilers and the wayfarers say, “We have seen her leaning over the earth from the windows of the sunset.”
In winter say the snow-bound, “She shall come with the spring leaping upon the hills.”

And in the summer heat the reapers say, “We have seen her dancing with the autumn leaves, and we saw a drift of snow in her hair.”

All these things have you said of beauty.

Yet in truth you spoke not of her but of needs unsatisfied,
And beauty is not a need but an ecstasy.

It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth,
But rather a heart enflamed and a soul enchanted.

It is not the image you would see nor the song you would hear,
But rather an image you see though you close your eyes
and a song you hear though you shut your ears.

It is not the sap within the furrowed bark, nor a wing attached to a claw,
But rather a garden forever in bloom and a flock of angels for ever in flight.

People of Orphalese, beauty is life when life unveils her holy face.

But you are life and you are the veil.

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.

But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

felt like i really needed to write before, but alas, as soon as i sat myself down all ready to begin, the words clogged themselves up and refused to come out the way i wanted them to.

so to save everyone some embarrassment, here are some photos instead

sources
1 / 2 / 3

fog and the incessant need to do things, suddenly, with wet nailpolish

i find i always discover a thousand things that need doing, right after i've painted my nails. like for example, the washing needs to be put out, or put in the machine, or i need to vaccuum before mum gets home..

which is why i've started painting them right before bed, because surely i (you, one) won't suddenly find heaps of jobs to be done. well, if you agreed with that statement, you'd be

WRONG! 

i just found i have 50 bobbypins in my hair which i obviously have to take out for sleeping, also my nose suddenly needs blowing, and my sock is halfway down my foot.

the trials and tribulations of being a female who is obsessed (and i mean freaky-deaky perfectionist OCD type obessed) with perfect painted nails..

ahhh, drove home from the city in knee-deep fog (if you hung from the streetlights); i felt like the whole world was not even there. and any minute i could just drive off the edge of the universe - rather like in pirates of the caribbean. or sinbad.

if anyone has ever driven in thick fog at night before, they will understand.

the lights of your car only take you as far as the beams travel, and you cannot see what is in front of your car until it is quite literally right in front of your car.

which is a bit nerve wracking while driving at 90 kms an hour.

thai food for dinner, the first book of the milennium trilogy is sitting on my bed (must do some more quality reading), and i handed out several (and by several i mean loads) of my resumes this afternoon.

ahhh life is good sometimes.

obsessed

with this.

about to go to work, sitting listening to colplay and the tallest man on earth (weird combination), and reading through all my old posts from 2009. i miss myself.

so,

I've been thinking a lot recently. about life, and what kind of person i am.

like, what do other people see when they look at me?

i honestly have no clue.

i'd like to be someone who people look at and think 'she looks lovely'.

i drank cider and watched the tallest man on earth perform yesterday afternoon. the light. oh that light. greeny-yellow, filtering through dark grey clouds. i sat on a shawl wearing my new green dress and mouthed along to his beautiful words.

i'm a bit melancholy at the moment. it's strange, i feel like it's a kind of deep sadness that i can use and take in to make myself a better person.

lost love has also been occupying my thoughts.

what if i never meet someone who connects to me as well as he did? what if i do? will i forget him? what does that make me? was it really as important as i thought at the time? can't i just take the piss out of myself please? that usually makes me feel less lost.

i owe some photos from my recent holiday. i promise they're on their way!

never has something moved me as much as this

“I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like ...forests and mountains„ deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know - unless it be to share our laughter. We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.”

— James Kavanaugh

10 jobs

Ten things I think I might want to be when I grow up:

1. A photographer (have my own design studio and a sexy partner in crime)

2. A writer (ditto - except writing studio. perhaps overlooking a park or a little laneway in paris? will work on this)

3. A travel writer (probably an office of some sort - see 6)

4. Psychologist (private practice with other likeminded professionals, interested in the advancement of the research into the human psyche)

5. Circus costume designer/Fashion designer (design studio - see 1)

6. Journalist (work from an office where I have my own little cubicle and cubicle plant, and gorgeous work friends who I go on lunch break with everyday and gossip about things {but not boring things}, interesting ideas and things)

7. Vintage shop owner/importer of fabulous things (with maman. pretty little shop with big windows and amazing colour schemes)

8. Teacher (boring but safe. to inject some excitement, overseas deployment - english teacher at a foreign language school?)

9.  Rich man's kept wife (not in a gross and un-feminist way, something like that book 'Lazy Ways to Make a Living'? also, I could have lots of hobbies, and even jobs! but i would work from home. of course. include 1-10 as ideas for these hobbies/jobs)

10. Full time blogger (would need some serious advertising to keep me going. also need some sort of creative, motivational drug to inspire me to actually be bothered to post everyday. hmm. this could work alongside 1, 2, 5, 7 - the only real options anyway).

What do we think?

I need something where I can work from home/a wee design studio and somewhere where if possible I can go outside and soak up the sunshine (if there is any), otherwise it'll be raining most days so I can stare out the window and be inspired by that. I'm always more inspired when it's raining anyway

wanderlust part 1

Coming back from holiday is hard work!

But am sitting comfortably at my laptop with freshly painted nails, a cup of peach tea and Bob Dylan is on in the background (on vinyl, thankyouverymuch. scratchy mmm).

A previous beau of mine looked a wee bit like Bob Dylan.

Deluded? Yes.

Anyway, back to Melbourne. It was incredible! I am convinced it is the city for me. Considering I haven't been to gay Paree or London on New York, in which case I'm sure they'd be the cities for me. But I'm sticking with Melbourne for now.

Had a moment of hair inspiration (due to all the pretty girls with them..) while walking down High St, and decided to cut my fringe again. I regretted it immediately afterwards. It took soooooo long to grow it out to my earlobes. But here I am, again with a fringe. It is without a doubt, me. It is my trademark, if you will.

So, I spent a beautiful 10 days with Mama-Duck interstate. First two nights, spa country. Mum hit a magpie. Not important. We (well I did) got sloshed in front of a fire at a little wine bar/restaurant. The waiter was a cutie-pie.

Stayed for the rest of the time with relations - my aunt, uncle, cousin and 2 baby cousins. Adorabubble! Full on. But weirdly made me a bit clucky. Ew, no I don't mean that.

Found incredible restaurants, coffee places, flowers were everywhere, bought lovely things, saw a mantlepiece with 12 polish teapots in the colours of the rainbow. Ate amazing tapas type food. Relaxed, de-stressed.

Here are some pictures!

Flower obsessed?

Possibly..

Lamely Nursery

Wonderful place! We're not even at out destination yet, just dawdling on the way xxx

daylight savings and a trip to melbourne

This daylight savings thing is such a larrrf! Kidding, it messes with my body clock and I feel like a lazy shit because I thought I'd slept in till 12 today but really it was only 10, 9 in old time. And my stupid bloody iPhone had changed the time forward not once, but twice. Yes that's right kiddies.

Anywho, enough of that, my dear Mother-Duck and I are heading off to our favourite city later this week. Well, technically in 2 days! I've been hanging out for a holiday since my last one, and can't wait for it because I have definitely had enough of this place. For the moment at least!

Here are some photographios of last time Mum took a holiday to Melb. I unfortunately was not present, but I will be this time!

coldplay

I stand alone atop Violet Hill, gazing at the sunset towards the horizon, the sunset glowing its brilliant Yellow glow, A Whisper swaying in the wind, guiding my mind back from the beginning, to the end. What If time seized to exist, Clocks never to persist, only White Shadows moving at the Speed of Sound. I wonder if The Hardest Part is really just Twisted Logic, reality Swallowed In The Sea. I think and ponder over the Trouble in life, but realize in the end, that Everything's Not Lost.

- Some guy on YouTube

10 things you probably don't know about me

1. Sometimes I eat flavoured crackers for breakfast.

2. Last night I spent a good 15 minutes trying to get my dog to sneeze by sticking one of his own whiskers up his nose. That sounds a lot worse than it was..

3. I need at least 3.5 coffees in the morning to be able to function. Otherwise I do really stupid stuff such as look blankly at people who've just spoken to me and then say about 500 minutes later 'hang on, sorry, what?'. Especially embarrassing if it's a babe customer. This may or may not have happened to me two days ago.

4. I am obsessed with nailpolish and lipstick. I am a hoarder when it comes to these things. I have about 7 lipstick tubes of the same exact red colour but different brands. Also I recently stockpiled my nailpolish collection and it contains about 50 little bottles of varying colours most of which I don't actually wear - I have a rotating colour system which goes: aubergine, red, pink, nude and thats about it. Also, if you work the bottles out to be about $8 each.. well thats a lot. About $400 if you were wondering.

5. My future rides on me choosing one of the three things that I love more than most things to do. (I am good at these things - I think). They are music, writing, and people. My dream is to combine them. I might chuck photography and fashion in there if I'm being a bit modest.

6. Sometimes I don't do things just so I can spend time with my dog. Well I've never actually done this, but it has crossed my mind a number of times.

7. I have, among several other addictions, a serious problem with online shopping. And, kinda just shopping in general. You may think I'm joking. I'm really not.

8. I have a dream. And that is to open a wee vintage and new homewares shop with my Mama. Although, you probably already knew this due to me blabbering on about it often.

9. I won a national songwriting competition once. I was 11 but still. I got a guitar and a thousand clams.

10. My minds gone blank. I promise you I do actually have more than 9 things that make me up as a person. Oh wait I havent showered yet.

my weekend

On Saturday Mum and I journeyed a fair way from home, up into wine country, for a local farmers market they have up there. Here are some pictures!

After about 1 and a half hours of driving, we reached the farmers market where we bought some lovely fresh fruit and vegetables. The only downside was the wind - whipping up huge clouds of pollen and dust from the surrounding vinyards and crops. I am a sufferer of horrendous hayfever so I'm so glad I remembered to take a hayfever tablet before leaving!

Afterwards, we strolled into the centre of town, where we found lots of amazing vintage and homeware shops. A couple of them were brilliant and inspired us no end but I couldn't take pictures inside, sadly.

On the walk into town we passed an incredible building, the old Masonic Hall. It was for sale and we desperately want to buy it and start our little vintage business inside! Unlikely, but here's to hoping!

After looking through some more vintage and antique shops we decided to stop for a coffee at a little cafe in the next town, called Nosh, with incredible old shelving framed by wallpaper and little knick-knacks the owners had been collecting.

We took the long way home, and passed incredible scenery and a strange electronic woman (a scarecrow perhaps?), who Mum insisted deserved a photo!

A beautiful, inspiring, tiring day. I want to go back there!