what i'm watching

finally got onto watching the girl with the dragon tattoo, you know, the one with daniel craig (the best bond ever in my opinion) and rooney mara (the deceptively beautiful).

i'm halfway through at the moment, and although i've seen the swedish films, and i usually hate english foreign films (you know the ones where everyone speaks english in an english accent even though they're not from england. yeah, those), i'm actually enjoying it. enjoy is probably not the right word, but it's fascinating and i love d.c soooo...

[happy] rainy thursday

it's days like these i wonder about life.

i mean, where am i really going to?

i feel like recently, everything is just temporary, until the life starts. but when is it going to start? and why is it taking so long?

i've always felt like i was just waiting for something or someone to come along and change everything.

meanwhile, i'm just sat here drinking tea, and it's raining, and i'm waiting.

so i'm sitting with my feet up at work, reading Grace: A Memoir, on my break that I've been on for an hour and a half, dreaming about nothing in particular, but particularly travel: and a soft evening breeze over a lavender lined driveway in greece. or perhaps france. who knows. all i know is that this day is one of the ones where my head is up in the clouds, and i'm really too dazed to be in human company. but, i'm to be at work for another 8 hours, potentially, which doesn't seem too fun for me. even though it's 35 degrees and our air conditioning at home isn't working, meaning it's cooler at work, i would much rather be lying on the couch with a cool drink and no responsibilities. here's to the new year
!

// what is happening it's almost 2013?

sometimes, i just feel that everything is so beautiful.

and then i realise our internet isn't working properly and i can't upload photos.

so it's been a while..

i've been thinking recently, about how i don't know my own mind.
but we did go strawberry picking for my birthday, so that's something.

define: idle

i·dle/ˈīdl/

Adjective:	(esp. of a machine or factory) Not active or in use: "assembly linesstanding idle".
Verb:	(of a person) Spend time doing nothing; be idle.
this is my day

with the end of a year, comes a new beginning

i don't know what it is about a change of season. something changes in me too. especially close to christmas. i get restless, maybe a kind of wanderlust. and with restlessness comes great responsibility. just kidding, it's me we're talking about.

what comes is a kind of longing, wanting to be better, more me. i know i said this was the year i become who i'm going to be, but i guess it's still a work in progress. after all i am only (almost) in my twenty-second year. things are still as great a mystery as ever, i still have gaps and holes in my life where more should be.

just more.

it is always this time of year my mind starts thinking of the future. maybe it's the start of a new year, which means a new start. maybe even a clean (cleaner) slate on which to step foot for the coming months.

it's always the end of the year when i start getting ready for the new one. which means i experience a kind of sadness, almost, thinking about all the things that are coming, along with all the things i'll leave behind.